Secret Society… *shhh* it’s secret…

Wanna be in on a super secret society? The kind with special handshakes, ominous logos, and secret meetings? Meetings with cupcakes?

Of course you do.

Well..ssshh… don’t tell anyone, but you’re invited to join the exclusive secret society of Embroidery Megalomaniacs Inc.

What is EMI exactly? We’re a top secret group working covertly to take over the world with embroidery that doesn’t suck. Vanquishing lame teddy bear samplers, banishing bad embroidery. You know the type. We’ve been around for ages, we were just really secret about it.

What do you need to do to join?

If you’re an embroidery biz owner, an etsy seller, stitchy blogger or otherwise crafty stitcher who’s working for our cause and making, sharing, or promoting cool embroidery, whatever kind, you can be a member. All you must do is have a dedication to take embroidery to new, cooler heights.

To join, and show off your (super secret) membership to this club, you can either create your own EMI logo with our tagline, (it makes it harder to track that way, we’re sneaky like that) OR use our provided logo, by right-clicking the image above and choosing “Save As”. Then upload the image onto your site, store, blog, whathaveyou and embed the following code with it.

<a href=”” target=”_blank”><img src=”supersecreimageyoujustdownloaded” alt=”Sshh… it’s secret”  width=”[the width in pixels you want it to be]” /></a>

Meetings conclude secretly, at no particular place or time, but I’m sure they would involve a really cool old looking building and cupcakes. All secret societies have cupcakes. The only reason they don’t advertise that is, well, cause they’re secret.

Finally, the first rule of Embroidery Megalomanics Inc. is you don’t talk about Embroidery Megalomanics Inc. But you may blog, tweet, or facebook it.

Good day to you members. I’m off to go work on my evil lair…

P.S. – Looking for a slightly softer version of the tagline? Here ya go

P.S. – Want to make your “secret” membership a little more public? Download this awesome patch design and wear it with pride!

You know, subtly…

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99 Responses to “Secret Society… *shhh* it’s secret…”

  1. 1
  2. 2

    I love this! Too funny.

  3. 3
    Elfie says:

    Beer cupcakes. Without kelp-flavoured icing.

    But I don’t know… There are so many secret societies I already belong to. How do I avoid confusing the IAoT with the EMI, or the … Oh no. I’ve already said too much. More beer cupcakes! Less kelp!

  4. 4

    Awesome. I claim founding member status. 😉

  5. 5
    stitchfork says:

    I can be one of the elders in the society – please?!!
    xo Cathy

  6. 6
    Lin says:

    Great idea! And I just baked a huge batch of Guinness cupcakes in little mason jars too!

  7. 7
    CASharp says:

    Shhhh, the secret handshake….okay. Everyone see that? Ooh, outsiders, quick look innocent, and put on your corky embroidery smock. That was a close one.

  8. 8
    Babbette says:

    My kind of club!!!

  9. 9
    Hanne says:

    Too funny! I HAVE to join!

  10. 10
    Diana says:

    I just finished a batch of glass shard cupcakes. Can I bring them? (Made with sugar syrup and cherry sauce blood) I was going to send a picture but I couldn’t figure out how.

  11. 11
    Sarah says:

    *sigh* If only it were for all stitchers! Why is cross-stitch always excluded from things? We want things that don’t suck, too. 🙂

  12. 12
    Lisa says:

    I would be honored to join EMI. I’m already a founding member of Embroidery Friends United (eFU)!

  13. 13
    Kathleen says:

    Great!!! Time that cool embroidery starts to rule!!
    Love to be a member!!

    Sinister Greetingzz

  14. 14
    Cali says:

    Well, finally. I was afraid I was the only one out here. Joy and rapture!!!!!!

  15. 15
    thedcwards says:

    Love it!!!!!

  16. 16
    thedcwards says:

    love it!!!! you guys rock!!!

  17. 17
    Tina says:

    This is hilarious! I’ve been loving and using your designs for ages…but a secret society??? I’m in!

  18. 18
    Joanne says:

    This so beats the OTO! I love everything about you BLOG, STORE, PROJECTS…I want to purchase an embroidery machine, at the moment I do hand embroidery. Which machine (a cheaper one please) do you recommend, please don’t say the husquavarna one, it’s like 7 grand, i’ve already drooled all over that idea and the price made me cry. I need more like 200.

    keep those awesome ideas a rollin’ Joanne

    • Izz says:

      I’m a Singer gal.. no I don’t actualy I have had Singer sewing machines for that past 25 years plus and I learned to sew on a Singer….right now I have the Singer Futura XL400 and I love it,I paid $1,400 for it. It hooks to your PC and the program is easy to use..I love it, it has speed control for the stitching and copy and paste feature within the program which for me is as good as a editing program when you want to incorporate more then one design, resizing is great, but only by a small amount or the design is distorted. I couldn’t be without it!! Its my second Furtura. I started with the Singer CE 200. I believe most places charge around $899. for the Singer Futura 250 thats the lowest price I know of unless you can find a second hand machine where someone has upgraded…it does pay to shop around.. good luck Joanne in your search….and have a great day….Izz

    • G says:

      I have a new Brother LB6800 from Costco. Sews and embroiders. Love it and it was VERY affordable!

      • Gen says:

        I have the LB-6800 too and it does beautiful embroidery but doesn’t sew worth a darn. Now Brother has come out wth a similar machine, PE-500, that does embroidery only in the $200-300 price range. That is the one to go for, and get a separate machine just for sewing. I have a Singer 9960 myself, it’s great and a great value.

    • BadGirl says:

      I bought a Janome 300E for $600 off of Ebay a few years ago. It’s a little old-skool (compact flash to transfer designs), but it does the trick. I bought it thinking it would be a good starter machine, and I’ve been really happy with it. Embird sofware completes the budget machine embroidery package.

    • Maddies grandma says:

      I have seen some very affordable Brother machines that start with a 4×4 hoop. The Janome 300E or Newer 350E have the 5×7 hoop. Everyone has hoop envy and wants the biggest hoop available. The bigger the hoop the more the price.
      You might also think about a trade in model. Also think about where it comes from, a big box store does not offer lessons or groups but a local sewing store might have a few free lessons to get you up and running. For supplies the internet has been the best bargain for me, such as Kensews for thread.

    • Tommie in AZ says:

      Check out the Babylocks. You get a lot of machine for your money. And they’re made in Japan, not China.

  19. 19
    Carol says:

    Oh, I would love to join the secret society. I just love your originality in everything you do. No one is more creative. Thank you, Carol

  20. 20
    Izz says:

    I would love to join…LOVE your site…the designs are that diiference I have been looking for. And you are so right, there are so many embroidery designs that suck out there…super refreshing to find you…fresh pan of cupcakes coming up LOL

  21. 21

    yes yes, finaly someone with some emagination, 47 and been sewing sence i was9. wore the 1st outfit to school, been teased many a time for free thing but never gave up and wont. now its starting to pay-pff but what a jerney. thanks so much. ps. everone my spelling

  22. 22
    Maureen says:

    Shhh………I’m joining. Also a hand stitcher hoping that Santa Claus brings me a modest embroidery machine new or used some Christmas.

  23. 23
    Ande Spenser says:

    Well, if by “promoting cool embroidery” you mean “buying a lot of patterns”, I qualify. I’m still getting the hang of finishing projects, ha ha, but I’ve got a lot of purses, zipper bags, and tarot card bags in queue. The embroidery part is done, now to assemble them. *sigh*

  24. 24

    I love to make commercial embroidery machines stitch like no others. I’d love to join as one of those people that supports the embroiderers that produce embroidery that doesn’t suck. LOL hope this made sense.

  25. 25
    Hecates Heart says:

    Love it love it love it. I want to join. I hate the tweeness of trad embroidery and the same patterns that have been around for years. Subversive embroidery rocks. WI will be turning in their needles and hoops…

  26. 26
    Angel Holsten says:

    I must join this group. I love to embroider & embellish.

  27. 27
    Diana Markley says:

    Best Ever secret society! I claim secret membership!

  28. 28
    ATZA says:

    Awesome… I want to join. Love to embroider and I make killer cupcakes… I call them Rasputin cakes. LOL

  29. 29
    Vicki Bradford says:

    I can’t wait to be all over this.

  30. 30
    G says:

    I’m in! But only if we can have some sugar free cupcakes with blood. I know boring, but its my life. I can, however, do the secret **shhhh** handshake.

  31. 31
    stitch stuff says:

    Can we join????? cos we love cupcakes!!
    Geoff & Alison
    Bristol, UK

  32. 32
    Karrie Smith says:

    It’s on. Now I HAVE to learn how to embroider. It’s on, after I finish my first quilt..which is soon.. You guys are super awesome!

  33. 33
    Moa says:

    Oh I love embroidery of all kinds (apart from bad ones lol) is it enough to have facebook to become a member???

  34. 34
    Wendy says:

    I have many needles and many threads….hehehe…the world has been stamped,,and now I will stitch…but I know nothing…hehehehe…and yes I do want cup cakes.

  35. 35
    Miss Ruthie says:

    I love secrets and cupcakes but I sometimes laugh at funny stuff.

  36. 36
    Miss Laura says:

    This is the kind of society I need to be a part of. One more cutsie teddy bear desing and I will take my stitxhing to new evil heights…

  37. 37
    kyriak says:

    This is awesome! I am 52 years young. I won’t accept that I’m too old for this stuff.I ‘ve been sewing since I was 13 .(nearly $0 yrs for those who can’t add).My kids mock me,and call me a”quilting grandma”. I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO QUILT. My boys are in a rock band “Society of Beggars” (please google them) and I was inspired by the coat that the guitarist from “Queen”( can’t think of his name) was wearing at the “Olympics” closing ceremony.”Embroidery Heaven”.It has inspired me to make,attempt, one for my 6’10” son ,for on stage.I will have to design another jacket for my shorter (6’4″)son,cos he’s the front man.Photographs if I get around to it.But rest assured they”ll have UT designs.

  38. 38
    Ronda says:

    Do you have the Logo for EMI somewhere so we can embroider secret badges?

  39. 39
    Kristine says:

    I have been a part of secret and not-so-secret societies for years. I need to be a part of this one – crochet, embroidery (hand and machine), and getting over cancer will definitely keep me busy for the next few years. Thanks!
    I really, really needed this!

  40. 40
    nadine says:

    hmmm i think i will start the south african chapter of this society….unless you guys are so secret it already exists….was that a sewing gnome under the bed last night…??????

  41. 41
    Julie says:

    I’m in from the top secret country of Canada, where it’s so cold because we are so cool!

  42. 42
    Connie says:

    This sounds great! I do embroidery, but only hand embroidery. Have never been near a machine embroiderer. Plan on uploading photos of my work as soon as I can make my scanner quit fighting with me!

  43. 43
    tEri says:

    Love LoVe lovE this ………..I shall make wondrous things

  44. 44
    StormCrow says:

    Greetings U.S. Canadian, and South African members! Traveling around the Sub-Saharan region at the moment and endeavoring to share cool embroidery everywhere I go! I’ll be the first of the Nomadic Chapter of EMI!

  45. 45
    Merle Mulkey says:

    Love this embroider everyday. Laissez les Bon Tempe rouler

  46. 46
    Merle Mulkey keeper of the thread says:

    Love this. I embroider and sew every day. Laissez les Bon Tempe roulet

  47. 47
    warjna says:

    Don’t have a website, don’t have a blog, don’t do machine embroidery (must have a job to be able to buy machines like that…) but I do hand embroidery that doesn’t suck. I also don’t make cupcakes – but I have a really cool 5-minute chocolate mug cake that’s made in the microwave – can I still join? I’m gonna assume that’s a yes, so I’ll even furnish my not-quite-so-secret recipe:
    4 Tbsp flour, 4 Tbsp sugar, 2 Tbsp baking cocoa, tiny pinch salt, 1 egg, 3 Tbsp milk, 3 Tbsp oil, 3 Tbsp chocolate (or other flavor) chips (optional), small splash of vanilla extract, and one microwaveable mug.
    Add dry ingredients to mug and mix well. Add egg and mix thoroughly. Pour in milk and oil and mix well. Add chocolate chips (if using) and vanilla extract, and mix again. You can also add 1/4 tsp of instant coffee (dry) to get a mocha thing going.
    Put mug in microwave and cook for 3 minutes. The cake will scarily rise over the top of the mug, but dont be alarmed. Allow to cool a little, then just eat it out of the mug!

  48. 48
    warjna says:

    Um – and also for those of us who don’t own that kind of clue & have to buy it – how do we know how many pixels we want the logo to be?

  49. 49
    shelley says:

    just wot i need 2 take my time up, more stitchey friends hehe

  50. 50
    Pirate quilt says:

    Goodie goodie, another secret club to join! One that I can come dressed in my pjs. How cool is that?

  51. 51
    Patti Cole says:

    Oooh! Must have super secret decoder ring! *eyes sparkling*

  52. 52
    Megann-N-TNC says:

    Must embroidery everything…..

  53. 53
    Lisa B. says:

    I am just lovin’ this!!!

  54. 54
    Sarah says:

    This will make a perfect addition to the badges I will own after formalising my rank in The First Tea Company ( – I didn’t get Dr Geof to sketch my ID card last time 🙁 ). I just have to find an appropriately military/Victorian jacket for them now….

  55. 55
    Annette says:

    Must be a member!!! Bwaahahha

  56. 56
    kbo says:

    Well I DECLARE!

  57. 57
    Morgan says:

    ….I’m anywhere there’s cupcakes. 😉

  58. 58
    Ava says:

    I’m in. I always wanted to be in a secret club.

  59. 59
    Mandy says:

    Ohh def count me in, but I may need to start a EMI support group for those of us who have been forced into occasionally stitching some sickly cutesy designs by family or friends! Ohhhh the shame of it!!

  60. 60
    Kraizdnurz says:

    Excellent! I would be proud to be a card carrying,(along side my Association of Bad Friends{Quakers}) needle-ing member of EMI, even sneakily if required. I’ll be happy to bring the Irish Coffee cupcakes for this weekend

  61. 61
    Linda M says:

    I don’t have a website or a blog. I’m busy sewing for the stable, embroidering, dreaming, riding, oh yes, and working a day job. I don’t do, won’t do cutesy coloring book stuff. Give me sassy, smart, fun, quirky and a little dark.

  62. 62
    Cathy Martin says:

    Please may I join? A secret society- just my style. e cupcakes so then e calories! Thanks for being my secret friends. Most people I know don’t understand that embroidery, sewing, quilting, knitting, crocheting, crafting is not work it is my great joy. I love giving away things I had so much fun making.

  63. 63
    Lupita C. says:

    Secrets, cupcakes, and embroidery. Three things I love. Of course I want in!!

  64. 64
    Mippie says:

    How awsome. Embroideries and stitching rules!

  65. 65
    Cindy says:

    I want to join this totally non-existent society of embroidery professionals.

  66. 66
    Globee says:

    Sorry I Late, Couldn’t find the Meeting place! Shhh! and its a little dark in here. I Got the coffee and the Chocolate Cupcakes and I’m Ready to get started. No website but, lots of Secrets crafty embroidery things to make.

  67. 67
    Kaino says:

    I don ‘t havve time to download this amazing Embroidery machine design

    someone can send it by mail (largest hoop )?

    thanks ;o)

  68. 68
    Donalea says:

    Is it all right to bring embroidered applique cupcakes to the secret whenever meeting? My world-famous, soy-bran cupcakes with sugar-free 17-grain frosting got me booted out of the last secret society. The nerve! Their embroidery sucked anyway.

    To attain our goals, I move that EMI branch out into uber-secret territory.

    We could lurk in the chatroom shadows, scarfing down cupcakes and obliterating bad embroidery every chance we get. No one will ever figure out why their cutesy boo collections just won’t download…he, he, he… Maybe we could simply replace all the bad embroidery with EMI-sanctioned designs. Whatever we decide, you have my undying support.

  69. 69
    Roxanne says:

    Love to be part of a secret.

  70. 70
    Ila says:

    I’m in cause I can not stand those cutesy run of the mill designs and I won’t sew them. Always on the look out for the unusual which is why I am here to begin with. I’ve been a hand embroiderer, cross stitcher for years, and have 2 Janome machines as well. Do you all know the secret code for stash acquisition? S.E.X. Stash Enhancement eXperience. If you have to report to someone try telling them you’re going to run to the store for S.E.X. to see the reaction you get he he

    Thanks for the invite and long live the unusual designs – need more Alien Designs though to keep the members of one of my other secret societies happy. Also Trains would be appreciated.

    Keep on stitching and may your needles always be sharp and plentiful.

    Ila in Maine

  71. 71
    Jenna Greensmith says:

    🙂 This is great… must join… hehee

  72. 72
    Paula says:

    Totally down with keeping embroidery “edgy” and interesting! I’ll bring cupcakes and am glad to contribute some ideas for club uniform guidelines .

    Love it! Keeping it edgy out here…Paula

  73. 73
    courtney says:

    LOVE LOVE LOVE your site!!! I was so excited to find these patterns! I started with Elmo patterns for my 2 year old Alistor and super-hero patterns for my 9 year old Damian, but when I wanted to do stuff for my husband and myself I needed something better…enter urban threads! I now have “orders” from all my friends…and working on matching steam punk outfits for Alistor and his girlfriend Temperance. Going to be the cutest thing EVER!!! It helps to have 2 machines set up…1 for embroidery and 1 for sewing.
    Happy Stitching To All!!!

  74. 74
    Julie Payne says:

    Love I….I’m in.

  75. 75
    Tierney Jewell says:

    Slightly off embroidery…..This is how we roll…!
    Thanks to UT for all the inspirations.

  76. 76
    Nic H says:

    Shhhhhhh …… secret squirell!! Boris, this is Natasha, EMI is a good to go.
    Love it and your evil little site of embroidery, my life is forever changed since stumbling across you.

  77. 77
    Diane says:

    How do I join the club?

  78. 78
    Jo Corns says:

    Have LOVED your web site and embroidery designs almost since you started!!
    Love the club idea! But you don’t have to join, we are already embroidery sisters and brothers and have always belonged together, club or no club.
    Thank you!

  79. 79
    jplasha says:

    I XXX ART! Love to be a VIP! I’m EXP SEWer and EMBroider!HUSh…..(handshake)

    XXX all non-sucky embroidery!


  80. 80
    Michelle C. says:

    Glad I can be a member of this club since I’ve always liked untraditional designs, and had to keep it on the down-low while stitchin’ the more traditional ones…….now I can share my secret by embroidering your awesomeness for all to see just how cool it is !!!!!!

  81. 81

    So happy I located other EMIs (eye contact Wink-Wink). I was MIA for Years. Obstructed with cuteness and bloomy projects. But now, with such pervasive art to tangle with, my creative juices are once again flowing with Wild creativity! Mu ha ha ha. In short, I can Dig It and proudly display the EMI badge with my Biz Logo. Long Live the sisterhoodrotherhood of EMI! Long Live the Needle and Thread!

  82. 82
    Karen May (Bluejay) says:

    Swoosh.. At your service… ‘later…*Poof*

  83. 83
    Michelle Sharp says:

    Newbie at all this but your designs are right up my alley! I have a Singer Futura Xl-400 that I’m learning to bend to her will! Nice to meet ya’ll.

  84. 84
    Jan says:

    I’m in!! I love embroidery designs that don’t suck!!

  85. 85
    Cj Swier (Eclectic Thread Designs) says:

    I’m so excited I finally found the ultrasecret UT EMI club I’m here under cover because I must keep thier identity a secret I have stashed chocolate cupcakes and coffee in different places around the society room to be found by others who know the secret handshake and the password. I am so thrilled to finally find a website that has such a unique variety of embroidery designs and to also to find a group of people that enjoy creating outside of the box it will be a great pleasure to participate and be a part of this society. I look forward to checking out the website on a weekly basis and see what new designs UT and the members have Posted in the gallery. I don’t have a website yet I am just getting everything up and going but I am on Instagram.

  86. 86
    MissBlueSky says:

    Great idea! Have to join! Save the world from bad embroidery!

  87. 87
    Dixie DeVille says:

    OMG! I love this.

  88. 88
    Carol McPoil says:

    I recently started a tiny business for custom sewing, embroidery and alterations. You guys are my go to for designs. YOUR AWESOME! NO SUCK IS ALLOWED!

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